Held in the Wilderness

Discovering God’s Presence in Hard Places

COVID took a toll on my body, physically and mentally. But perhaps most of all, it left me experiencing an emotional wilderness; a lonely, uncomfortable, isolated, frustrating, and confusing place.

How can I experience God in this place? How can I enjoy His presence in the wilderness? 

To enjoy is to take delight or take pleasure in something or someone. But could I really delight in God here?

Early in my faith, I thought God would lead me only to delightful and life-giving spaces. But this is not always the case. God has allowed me to be uncomfortable and go through difficult seasons. Whether I understood the purpose or not, the last thing I did was enjoy it. 

Who wants to enjoy seasons of pain, heartache, death, or sickness? 

As I have grown in my faith, I have come to realize that we are not promised happiness or comfort.  When we read scripture, we see the challenging circumstances men and women face. The wilderness some lived in or were led to, they experienced sacrifice and pain. 

When we read the story of Jesus, the Son of God, we see He too spent time in the wilderness. Luke chapter 4:1 says that Jesus, “…was led by the Spirit in the wilderness…”

The Spirit intentionally led Him there.

Notice how Jesus entered the wilderness; He was prepared.  Luke 4:1, He was “full of the Holy Spirit…”

The book of Matthew, chapter 3, tells us that after Jesus was baptized. ”… he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and settling on him.” God prepares Jesus for the wilderness with His Spirit. He promises His presence.  

The same Spirit of God who filled Jesus in the wilderness lives within me. (Romans 8:9) (John 14:26)

Looking back, I can see countless ways God has been preparing me for hardship and grief. Long before I even knew I would need them.

Through scripture,

through sermons,

through music,

through others speaking truth into my life,

through prayer.

God had prepared Jesus for His wilderness. He was not sending Him into the wilderness empty handed. He provided Him with the right tools and resources. God knew who Jesus needed to survive. 

During and after having COVID, it wasn’t any different for me. He had prepared me. And I started to realize that He had done the same for me.

I was having a hard time seeing Him, enjoying Him. 

When I got back home from the hospital, I still had to isolate; I was alone a lot. Though my family was near, I couldn’t be with them. One morning everyone was gone. I found myself crying (again). I was supposed to be “resting”, giving myself space to heal. But all I wanted was to hurry up the process.

I watched an online service where the pastor spoke on Mark 8, where Jesus heals a blind man. It is a beautiful story of healing. What struck me the most was Mark 8:23. It says “Jesus took the blind man by the hand and led him out of the village.” And then Jesus goes on to heal him. 

Why would Jesus take the time to walk this man out of the village?

The passage doesn’t tell us, but can you imagine the scene? How long did it take? How far was the walk? Did Jesus have a conversation with the blind man? So many questions. 

The pastor pointed out that Jesus took his time healing this man. Why? Jesus could have healed him immediately. He could have spoken a word and ended his suffering in the village. Instead, Jesus takes him by the hand and led him away. 

Jesus was taking his time healing this man. I can relate to that.

This spoke deeply to my soul. Can you imagine that scene? These two men having a deeply personal moment. 

Jesus kindly intervened. He held his hand. Maybe they had a conversation. Jesus was with him through his pain and through his sickness. While leading him towards healing.  

Jesus was and is available, just like the Spirit of God. He is with us. He is with me. 

In that moment, I cried even more. Jesus was there, in my bed, holding my hand. 

He was collecting my tears and leading me toward my healing. He granted me His presence and comfort. My weakness and even, my feeling sorry for myself blinded me from enjoying His Spirit. 

He had long before prepared me for the wilderness. 

Since the day I chose to follow Him, the Spirit of God settled in me. He promised to hold my hand.

Promised to be my advocate (John 14:26), 

promised to speak when I can’t speak (Romans 8:26), 

promised to comfort me (2 Corinthians 1:3-4), 

promised to walk with me. (Galatians 5:22-23)

It is comforting and humbling to know He is near. His presence is sealed in me.

I am not out of the wilderness yet. 

But, with the Spirit of God, I am no longer walking through it wondering if God is with me. 

His Spirit is with me. His Word has prepared me. His presence will sustain me.

And even when I cannot see Him clearly, I can trust that He is still with me. 

Maybe being prepared for the wilderness doesn’t mean knowing how I can escape it. Perhaps it means knowing intimately The One Who walks with me (us) through it.

Are you prepared for your wilderness?

✦ Reflect

• Are you going through a wilderness season right now? 
• During this time, in what ways have you found it hard to recognize or enjoy God’s presence? 
• As you reflect on your journey with God, can you identify ways He has prepared you for this season before you knew you would need it? 
• Did God use any of the following to sustain you: His Word, prayer, music, community, or encouragement from others? What did that look like?
• Can you picture Jesus holding your hand and walking with you through a challenging season?

✦ Rest

“Be still, and know that I am God” —Psalm 16:8

Take some time to sit with this verse and the promise that He is with you in this place and time.

We might not know how long the wilderness will last, but we also don’t have to hurry our way out of it. 

✦ Practice

Try going through a breath prayer. Find a quiet place and open your hands. 

Breathe in and pray: “Jesus, You are here.”

Breathe out and pray: “I do not have to walk alone.”

As you quietly reflect, imagine Jesus taking you by the hand and walking you through the wilderness. 

Next, you could ask him, “Jesus, where are You inviting me to trust You today?”

✦ Pray

Jesus, sometimes I struggle to understand the wilderness that You have allowed me to walk through. Some days I don’t want to be here, and I feel lost in how to survive it. 

Please continue to remind me that I am not alone. Thank you that Your Spirit lives within me, comforts me, advocates for me, and reminds me of Your promises and truth. Thank you that you lean in, listen and hold my hand.

When I can’t see or feel You, help me to trust that You are near. When I want the process to hurry up and be over, teach me to rely and rest in You. When I feel weak and in pain, hold me close. When I can’t find the words to pray, may Your Spirit intercede for me. And when I cannot see the next step, help me to take steps of faith with You.

Jesus, teach me not only to endure the wilderness, but to find joy in Your presence while I am in it. 

In Jesus Name, Amen.

Stay tuned for the next word…